The Honeymoon Headache
by fralinger
Summary: This is little more than a forum drabble. Blame FallenBelle for me expanding it a bit and posting it before the big Wedding Episode. Normally I'm on Team AlmostVirgin!William, but a certain sneak preview led me to speculate on how things might go down if Inspector B's wedding day jitters "advice" had been misplaced. Dedicated to all the stalwart folk on Team NotAVirgin!William :)


**The Honeymoon Headache**

William had waited almost a decade to show Julia just how masterful he could be at arousing her passions. A decade cursed by every possible species of trial and obstacle. A decade in which he'd quietly endured the most insufferable circumstance of all, that another man had won the chance to show he could bring Julia to raptures in William's stead. Yet if God had been testing the love he bore Julia, that love survived and emerged from the forge of tribulation stronger than the finest Damascus steel.

Now William and Julia were finally wed. The hour had finally come to consummate their union and lawfully entertain their lusts of the flesh in the Grand Honeymoon Suite of the Queen's Hotel.

And now William had a headache.

At the bottom of his valise William was relieved to discover he had packed a small wooden box that contained several phials of opium and other herbs from Chinatown. No effort of will or meditative technique could chase Inspector Brackenreid's "fatherly advice" pertaining to how to handle his _inexperience_ on his wedding night from his mind. Now the internal roil was swiftly mounting into a headache. This was not the condition he wanted to meet Julia in for the evening's reveries.

Why did the Inspector view him as such a babe in the woods? Did Julia also regard him as innocent?

Though he had never thought to sully Julia before marriage, William was certainly no stranger to intimacies with women. He chuckled when he thought of the enthusiastic experiments of his rash youth, when he was so randy that he entertained any girl that threw him an apple. The Lord only knew how he'd made it through those gadabout years without catching the pox. Then Etty had guided his more mature investigations regarding the finer points of how to bring a woman to ecstasy.

William hadn't exactly been chaste in recent years, either. There had been flings with Enid and Anna, and a various meaningless trysts after Julia had left him, including a turn through the smoky bohemian underworld that Sally Pendrick had introduced him to. But he couldn't tell Julia about those - her jealous moods could come on like sudden squalls, and William didn't want a storm to break out tonight of all nights!

So this was his quandary: when he approached Julia tonight, should he delight her with his experience or should he feign innocence...?

Absently, William placed the entire medicine box on the nightstand while he turned over the matter of confessing his past affairs to Julia in his head. He was about to pour a dash of opium into his tea, when a vague thought wafted to the surface of his memories: wasn't opium known to sap manly vigor and hinder their ability to reach fulfillment with women? It was fortunate he had his very own private physician to consult.

"Julia," William called as he removed his neatly folded pajamas and robe from the valise and placed them on the bed.

Julia came rushing in from wherever she had been conducting her pre-connubial-bliss-preparations, amidst a flowy pink cloud of negligee and peignoir.

They stared at each other in amazement for a few seconds: William entranced by Julia's state of deshabille, and Julia astonished that William was still, for the most part, fully clad. He had yet to remove his vest or even loosen his tie.

"You're beautiful." William broke the silence, and kissed her hand.

"You seem to have some reservations about the traditional celebrations of wedlock." Julia quirked an eyebrow, hesitating to approach further.

"I have a headache." William confessed.

Julia slumped, noticeably disappointed. One golden curl sprang from its pins and dangled forlornly before her face.

"No, no." William reassured her. "I mean I was going to take a little opium, but I wanted to ask you if that might cause...I've read that opium can leave men..." Then he stopped short as he saw her expression rapidly shifting from confusion to pity to hilarity.

This was not the way to inflame one's new bride with ardor for one's amorous caresses. William realized this situation needed to be saved with all speed. Without thinking, he grabbed Julia, drew her close and folded her tightly into his arms. "It's nothing. Just jarring from the carriage, that's all. Any hint of a headache melted away the minute I saw you..." He nudged the peignoir off her shoulder with his nose and began to kiss her there. _So incredible to finally have the liberty of her body and make direct contact with bare skin...so soft and warm and fragrant...is that jasmine?..._

"William-" Julia laughed as she struggled to extract herself. "There must be a reason you haven't so much as removed your tie." She gave his tie a playful tug and turned in his arms to examine what he had in his medicine box. "I want you to be in decathlon shape tonight, my Renowned Detective Murdoch."

William nuzzled and nipped at the crook of Julia's neck as she examined his medicinal "supplies" with interest. After a delicate sniff she waved a red velvet bag. "Oh my, you did come well-prepared, didn't you? If the headache is resolved, may I suggest we try this tonight?"

"I don't think we need any oriental herbs to enhance our appreciation of each other just yet, _Mrs. Murdoch_..." William murmured roughly into Julia's ear, holding her waist hard to him so she couldn't ignore the prodding evidence of his arousal.

"William!" Julia cried, as if she feared he was going to push her over the nightstand and take her right there. Instead she squirmed around in his embrace and took hold of his tie. "If you're a gentleman, at the very least first remove your tie."

With a gleeful hoot, Julia whipped off William's tie.

After a second of bewildered shock, William shook his head at Julia's naughtiness, and threw her onto the bed in joyous retaliation. There he proceeded to methodically and skillfully gratify her every desire and propel her to new heights of passion. If Julia was ever concerned where William's great knowledge of the arts of the boudoir came from, she never bothered to bring it up.


End file.
